Reposting Of Shut UP And Feel Good About Yourself Already!

Why is it so hard to make sure your kids have a good self esteem? No matter what I say or do, my kids love to insert negative comments about themselves in conversation.
yesterday, My five year old started crying because she “was too dumb to do anything right.” i asked why she felt that way and she said she kept getting in trouble fo doing stupid things. My answer of “well, stop doing stupid things and you won’t be stupid,” didn’t seem to help her. Then I tried the caring mother tactic and said “Honey, you are not stupid, you just sometimes make choices that get you in trouble or hurt.” The most amazing part was her very intelligent, but self defeating reply of “but doesn’t that make me dumb, when I do thing to hurt myself?”
Not wanting to answer yes,I quickly changed the subject to school and asked if she was looking forward to kindergarten. God has no pity on parents though and her older sister walked in and said “She can’t go to kindergarten, she is too dumb cause she still sucks her thumb.”
This started a bunch of name calling and crying which I stopped with a phrase that proves my kids aren’t too stupid: “The next girl that calls someone a name gets their lips tied to their ears!!!

Reposting of How Hard Is It To Look In A Drawer?

First off I want to say, I love my husband. He is an amazing man who forgives all the crap I put him through on a daily basis. He works hard to support our family and is a wonderful father. I also want to mention how much I love my beautiful children. They try so hard to be good kids. I say this to soften the blow when I say “How hard can it be to look in a drawer and see what is inside it?”

Every time I fold laundry and hand it of to my kids or my husband, there seems to be only two possible actions for them. Either they shove everything into whatever drawer they come to first or they throw the clothes on the bed or floor. Then I inevitably hear the next day. “I can’t find any underwear,” or “Why is there a sandwich in my shirt drawer?”

Now, in the case of my children, I understand that their mental capacity is not yet great enough to use logic like: underwear in underwear drawer or unfinished sandwhich in the trash. But my beloved and extremely intellegent husband always replies with the response “I don’t know where anything goes.” When I ask him why he doesn’t try looking in the drawers, he gets this terrified look on his face like he had once found something worse than an old sandwich in his drawers. I don’t know how to combat that.

So for now I just keep asking them to put away the folded clothes and to my hubbies credit, if it is his clothes he does a great job, but we no longer try to move outside his comfort zone. My children on the other hand will often come back into my room 5 minutes later holding the folded clothes and proudly say “Here’s my dirty clothes mom. They were on the floor.”

Reposting of Heavenly Father Are You Really There, And Do You Hear And Answer Every Child's Prayer?

So I have decided my dear sweet 5 year old will forever be the reservoir of hilarious statements. While praying over the family breakfast her closing line was “Bless us that we wont say we will kill each other in case we really decide to do it. Amen.”

The night before I had stood in their room shaking with anger and said “sometimes I want to wring your neck!” because my sweet little angels thought it would be “neat” to put 6 full glasses of water on our bed and see if the could jump on the bed without knocking them over. Then to cover the mess they took clothes and laid them over the wet spots so we wouldn’t see.

They of course tried to blame each other for the idea, which only ticked me off more. This came after a day where every two seconds the girls were in my face asking for something, and not listening when i said no. My six year old also dropped the bomb at one point that she was planning on getting pregnant in high school just like the girl on secret life of the american teenager. I tried to reason with her about waiting till she was older and married before having babies but she gave me the “you are so old and out of touch” look, and ignored everything i was saying.

Reposting of Honesty Hurts

So this morning I got up earlier than usual in order to make sure the kids don’t wake my husband since he has had no sleep the past couple days. I would like to say I did this out of the goodness of my heart, but it was really just to avoid the grouchy beast he can be when he doesn’t get any rest. Anyway, I made the girls breakfast and sat to watch a cartoon with them while nursing the baby, and a hungry, hungry hippo commercial came on. My sweet and lovely five year old, turns to me in the middle of the commercial and says “they show the hippos butt every time they say hippo.” My six year old chimes in and says “Yeah, they have fat butts.” to which my five year old says “Their butts shake because they are Fat. Just like your butt shakes because you are fat,” while smiling sweetly at me. As if that weren’t bad enough the two girls then start discussing which diet or exercise infomercial I should order from in order to lose weight. They finally decided I should get the “leg magic” along with the Alli pills and some Proactive Solution because “you have lots of zits mommy and zits are ugly.”

Now in my own defense I am a size 10, and my skin is not perfect, but I can’t think of the last time I had issues with acne. Yes, I used to be about 15-20 pounds lighter, but I am not as fat as my kids say I am. So as punishment for hurting my feelings, I made them go and clean their room. To which they responded “I hate you. You are mean!” and I replied “Good,” while examining myself in the mirror trying to convince myself I really don’t look that bad.

Reposting of 48 Hour Notice

So yesterday while my husband was outside replacing a battery cable on our beautiful '73 Malibu, Questar Gas shows up and hands him a 48 hour notice to pay before they shut off our gas. I am not very good at paying bills on time. We get a notice at least once every two months for some bill or another. My hubby brings the notice into the house as I am yelling at my two oldest "Please pick up your shoes, walk with them in your hands down the hall, into your room and place them on the floor of the closet with the rest of your shoes." I had to use those exact words because 5 minutes earlier when I asked them to put their shoes away they picked them up and chucked them towards the hallway. When my hubby handed me the notice, the girl took advantage of my momentary lapse of attention and dropped the shoes in the hall and ran to the garage to sneak into the backyard. Now to give them credit I didn't notice the shoes were left in the hall until I was walking down it a few minutes later carrying a giant stack of clean laundry. Yes I stepped barefoot on the really hard and pointy heel of a dress shoe. It hurt and I am glad to say I did not dismember any of my children even though the desire was strong. It helps though that the girls heard my cry of anger and pain and promptly hid around the side of the house where I couldn't find them.

Back to the bill. I decided in my infinite, procrastinating wisdom to wait till today to pay the gas bill. Well here it is 12:30 in the afternoon and I just now got out of the shower. I have been up since 7 am trying to clean. I say trying because for every thing I picked up and put away, two new things magically appeared in its place. I think my kids have supernatural powers to drive me insane. As I was cleaning I found a bag of corn chips shoved down the side of the couch, spilling the contents everywhere. It took me 10 minutes with our industrial strength Rainbow vacuum to finally clean all the crumbs out of the couch and floor underneath. Then as I was walking back out of the living room I noticed chips were spilled across the coffee table, the rocking chair and some were on the curtains higher than my girls can reach so they must have been throwing the chips at the ceiling at some point.

Then after making scrambled eggs for the girls for breakfast and nursing the baby, my 5 year old says to me "Mom, this house is messy. I don't like messy. You should clean today."

And as I look back at the kitchen table and see she had smeared her eggs all over the table and dropped some onto the floor, I decided I need a break and took my shower. This should have been a relaxing time, but my children don't think privacy applies to mothers. Every two seconds they burst into the bathroom throwing open the curtain and yelling at the top of their lungs "Mom, sissy did...." or "The baby wants you, can you take her in the shower?" I have learned that no matter what I answer the girls will do whatever they want anyway. I told the girls to stop bickering and clean their room, they fought more and made messes. I told them the baby couldn't get in the shower, but they could give her to their dad or just leave her in the bathroom where I could watch her, but before I could even finish that statement they had stripped the baby down and shoved her in the shower with me. So now I am avoiding cleaning up the girls messes made while I was in the shower and since the bill pay center is open until 7pm tonight I have decided to put off paying the bill for just a little longer.

Lets hope I have gas tomorrow.

Breaking News

The next week will feature entries from my last forgotten BLOG. This saves me from having to write something every day for at least the next week, but also lets me laugh again at my wonderful family.

Metamucil is brutal

As previously mentioned, my family often require a little help in the regularity area. I often give a half dose of metamucil to my girls if their plumbing isn't running as freely as is necessary. I keep the metamucil on the top shelf of our cupboard and usually have to use a chair myself to get it down. While I had often discussed the unpleasant result of having too much, it apparently didn't sink in as well as I hoped.

My children are often thirsty and I make sure their cups are within easy reach so that the 6 and 7 year olds can fill up at the sink anytime they want. This can cause a few problems though as those same girls will often get into juice or milk, but not finish the drink. When i see a full cup and the children are over at a friends or playing outside i will drink the milk or juice so it isn't wasted.

I found three cups of juice yesterday and quickly downed them all. the first two were the fruit punch from the fridge, but the last was juice mixed with metamucil. It had so much metamucil that I thought I was drinking jello. I don't know how the girls got into the fiber, but when i looked for it, it was on its shelf. While I prefer not to be ambushed with fiber supplements, i figured it couldn't do me any harm.

I am writing now with bowels that would do a colonoscopy proud. While I would not suggest such an awkward and uncomfortable "cleanse" to anyone else, it has spurred my efforts to get back into shape and I actually exercised today.

So I guess I should make this a public thank you to my dear sweet girls:
Thank you girls, you have helped me get rid of all the crap stopping me from exercising like i should.